Where We Belong
by amongstbrokenwords
Summary: Grissom & Sara finally realise what they're throwing away... GSR, with a bit of SMUT... In response to a songfic challenge thing :
1. Going Away To College

Right, so I found some kind of songfic challenge, where you put you iPod on shuffle & write a short fic for the first 5 songs...

My first 5 were:  
_Blink182 - Going Away To College  
Rise Against - Saviour  
Bring Me The Horizon - The Sadness Will Never End  
Marilyn Manson - Heart-Shaped Glasses (When The Heart Guides The Hand)  
Lostprophets - Where We Belong _

So if you don't know the songs, I've linked each one to youtube... if that doesn't work, just type the song name in :)

I chose the sexy old GSR pairing from CSI, but am also toying around with an X-Files variation of this game...  
Gotta love the two sexiest FBI agents EVER!

I got these rules from **KazeKitty**

_1. Turn shuffle on your iPod, mp3 player, iTunes,  
2. Pick the first 5 songs that play and write down the song titles and artists.  
3. Pick a fandom, pairing, or original character.  
4. Write 5 full length oneshot songfics, one for each song.  
5. For /fictionpress, post each as a chapter in a story, using the song title as the title of the story.  
6. Have fun!_

There's some spoilers, Song 2 is a spoiler for "Cool Change", Song 3&4 are spoilers for Bloodlines & Song 5 is a spoiler for "Identity Crisis"

Rated M as usual for me ;)

I assume I have to put a disclaimer... because I'm so obviously claiming I wrote all of these songs & every episode of CSI.... Or not  
Just in case you genuinely think I am cool enough to have done this, I haven'y  
Sorry  
If I had, Grissom & Sara would have got together much sooner & the audience would have seen it ALL (trust me....)  
and my band wouldn't be playing shitty venues, but on a world tour, or playing Warped or Download or something  
but seeing as I claim none of it, it doesn't really matter really.

_**Song 1 - Blink-182 - Going Away To College**_

_**To listen: youtube .com/watch?v=CM0D3mvmyRM**_

_(remove the space between "youtube" and ".com")_

_

* * *

  
_

Dr Gil Grissom stood at the front of the Harvard lecture hall, survey the herds of students in front of him. He wished he was back at the lab, instead of doing some guest lecture crap.

Damn Jim Brass. Grissom knew he had been burning out, but he didn't need to be sent away to some University on sabbatical.

None of the students particularly caught his eye.

They all looked pretty much the same to him.  
Then she came in late.  
Windswept, hurried and totally gorgeous.

There were very few seats left, but she rushed to the closest one, and got out her books.

There was strange about how she came in he noticed. Something different to all the other students

Halfway through his presentation on blood splatter, it finally occured to him.

She hadn't looked around to see anyone she knew, or to find a seat with friends.

She had come in alone, sat alone, and was currently working alone, despite the burgoening attentions of the guy sat next to her.

As the lecture came to an end, he looked up from his notes and caught her eye.

A smile, the first he had seen in the last hour had spread across her face.

He couldn't help himself but smile back

It didn't surprise Gil to find find her approach the podium after everyone had left.

She as definitely nervous, that much was obvious.

Mahogany eyes, a slender physique, and a subtle tan.

He smiled again. "Hi. I'm Gil Grissom."

Wow, he had never been that forward in his life. Here he was introducing himself to some random, but totally gorgeous woman- No, a student.

And that's all this can be, he told himself. She was a student, he was a visiting proffesor.

Sara smiled, her large brown eyes conveying thanks for him starting the conversation.

"Hi, I'm Sara Sidle. I err- well I was wondering if I had missed anything. I'm, I'm sorry I was late, my flatmate had erm locked herself out of her car again..."

It was at this point she realised he probably didn't care about her flatmate, or her for that matter. She was babbling again.

A smile cracked on his face, as he started to laugh. "Does she do that often?" he chuckled.

Relieved, Sara joined in with the laughter.

"It's only usually when she's hung over to hell... So yeah, pretty often"

"Look, I'm free for a couple of hours, what do you say we grab a coffee & I'll run through the stuff you missed..."

Grissom didn't realised what he had said until it was too late. _"She's a student dammit Gil"_, he chastised himself.

Sara blinked twice. Was she hearing this right.  
"Erm, yeah I'd love that. Thanks" A proper grin broke across her face, which Grissom decided to call the Sidle smile. There was just something about her.

That coffee had lead to so much more.

She had told him all about San Fransisco, and all the best places to go.

He had told her all about the lab, and the cases he had worked.

She had seemed so amazed by it all, and the terrible things people did to one another.

No that wasn't right, she seemed more interested in why they did the terrible things, and how the can be stopped.

It was so cold outside when they left.  
Well, cold for the end of September in San Fransisco.  
Grissom could hardly believe he had been sat talking to her for nearly 3 hours.

Just talking.

It had been nice. Really nice.

He had enjoyed himself, and she seemed happy too.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your flat? It's getting dark..." he had offered as they stepped out of the quiet coffee shop, which was every bit as good as Sara had said.

Smiling again, Sara agreed, grateful for the company.

Surprising even himself, he took her by the hand, as her wrapped his jacket around her shoulders. It was so cold out at night.

The streetlight flickered as they approached her building.

"I'd invite you in, but my flatmate... well, her boyfriends car is here & they'll be drinking... or having sex. Neither is a particularly plesant sight in the living room..."

Grissom laughed.

"Don't worry about it. Some other time. You can show me that entomology book you were talking about."

Sara smiled. "I'll see you soon then."

"Definitely" Grissom smiledback, throwing caution to the wind. There was nothing wrong with being friends with a student. If they were friends that was.

It was nearing the end of December. Grissom had marked all the papers, and was pleased to see Sara had scored highest. What did he expect really. She was so smart, some of the theories & conversations they had still baffled him. Yet she took it all so gracefully into her step.

He knew he was leaving soon. The shell on his desk, that she had given him when they were at the beach, only reminded him how little time really was left.

She knew he was leaving, he just hadn't told her when.

Sara gazed out of the 3rd storey window. Her bedroom was sparsley decorated in time for Christmas - she had 2 cards on her dresser, one from Grissom, and one addressed "Dear Student" from the University.

She knew he was leaving soon. She just didn't want this to end. They had grown so close over the past few months, just talking, spending time together, visitng the beach & all the museums she had never wanted to visit on her own.

But soon, she was to be on her own again.

Why does it feel the same, to fall in love or break it off? Sara sighed, decorating a scrap of paper with nonsensical sentences and random doodles.

And if young love is just a game, then I must have missed the kick off...

There was nothing she could do to stop him leaving.  
He had resposibilites. She was just a friend. And that's all she could be.

She wanted him, but she was his student.

"Why does life consistenly screw me over"... she pondered as he walked up the steps to her building.

It was their last day before he left.

They spent the day in their favourite coffe shop.

They had visited every day since they met, and were on first name terms with all the staff.

"A latte for Miss Sidle and the usual Americano with cream for you sir."

The long dark haired kid Jimmy brought their drinks over to the table.

He had placed $25 on the fact that they were going to get together that day. Everyone had put money into the Sara & Grissom pool. By the looks of things no-one was going to win.

That night Grissom took her to the nicest resturant in town.

He wore a black suit, and had never spent so much time on his appearance in his life.  
Sara wore a halterneck black dress, and her hair up.

Gil could barely control the urge to take her right there.

They both knew how the other felt.

They both knew where the boundries were.

They both knew how painful Grissoms departure was going to be.

They both knew there was nothing they could do.

Grissom started to talk about their realtionship halfway through dessert.

A bouquet of clumsy words expelled from his mouth and there was nothing he could do to stop them. He hadn't been this scared in a long time.

He told her how difficult his life was. He told her not depend on him to ever follow through on anything. He told her he'd go through hell for her. He told her how this world's an ugly place, but sh was so goddamn beautiful.

Tears ran down her face as she stoetically smiled her was through it.

They promised not to forget each other, and how they'd would write every week.

The photo taken by the waiter that night still hung in her locker long after he had returned to Vegas.

The photo taken by the waiter that night still hung in Grissoms locker back at the lab, long after their painful contact ceased.

* * *

Oooohhhh... aren't I cruel to these sexually deprived CSI's....

Don't worry they'll forgive me later along :)

**READ & REVIEW PLEASE :)**

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	2. Saviour

Don't worry... it should get better...

I was in a good mood when I wrote this, so they are happy in the end  
but what's fanfic without a little angst?

Enjoy :)

_**Song 2 - Rise Against - Saviour**_

_**To listen: youtube .com/watch?v=_Qhry7ufxno**_

_(remove the space between "youtube" and ".com")_

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"Norman pushed... Norman jumped... Norman fell..."

"Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs Roper?"

Her dry San Fransico accent cut through the babble of the crowd.

Hearing the smile in her voice, memories flashed thorugh Grissoms mind.

The colour of her eyes, her scars, how she had got them.  
How he wanted her.

It had been so long ago.

But, even if it killed him, he would never forget any of it.

"I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle."

"It's me"

As her turned he took in how she had changed.

Just the simple way she slid those shades off to reveal the intelligent mahogany eyes he had so dearly missed.

The eyes that shown she she knew far more than her years, that revealed hardships she had vowed never to speak of, the windows to her soul.

She was no longer a student, but a beautiful woman.

A very beautiful woman.

Wow.

She made Grissom feel old. Here she was, so young and exuberant, and he, he was simply becoming an old man.

An old, lonely man.

There was no reconciliation that would sort it out. Nothing that could be changed.

"Shit happens Gil", he told himself. "This was your fault."

But, while he could, he might aswell drink those draining seconds. Just admire how the sunlight reflected on her wavy brown hair. The signiture Sidle smile, he instinctively knew everyone at the lab would love.

He knew he was staring. She smiled again, shyly.

He had failed her back in San Fransisco, and yet she was still here.

Here where he would ony fail her again.

He was an old man.

She was a beautiful young woman.

The words rang true in his head. He was constantly failing her, what she wanted from him, what he couldn't give.

The walls that he just couldn't break through, until she disappeared. Until he knew he could no longer hurt her.

When he was on his own, he couldn't get her out of his head.

Work was merely a distraction.

And now she was there too.

He knew there were questions she still had.

How he wanted to give her those answers she desired.

He couldn't.

It wasn't his place.

But the day still pressed on like crushing weights, for no man did it ever wait. Especially not for Gil Grissom. He had worked to forget, until he forgot it was work.

The lab had consumed him, a safety net, holding him, saving him.

The memories of dying days, spent laughing, smiling, with her by his side.

It was at the beach, when she had grabbed him, dragging him down to the sea, despite the October weather.

He had laughed as they shrieked at the ice cold water, getting soaking wet.

It had fallen silent as he uncurled his fingers in her hand, grasping her, blue eyes melting into brown. The waves continued to splash across their thighs, as the simple gesture took momentus value.

They were holding hands. She just smiled and pulled him further out to sea, still jumping & splashing. He had never laughed as much as he did that day.

After, as they crashed out onto the beach, he realised what had happened.

He had been having fun.

Since he had met Sara Sidle, Gil Grissom had been enjoying himself.

For the first time since he had lost his dad, he was finally able to let go.

The sand pressed into his flesh as the revelation sunk in.

He finally understood.

A week later he had to return to Vegas, to the lab.

He had to leave that happiness behind.

As he miserably stepped into the carpark, he pondered a question that had plagued him since that day at the beach.

"If this ain't love then how do I get out?"

He understood the concept of love, but when it had hit him, he ran.

He ran like never before.

And now, he was still in love, but there was nothing he could do about it.

It felt as though his heart was 1000 miles away

But he was the one who had left it there

Back in San Fransisco.

Back with Sara Sidle

There was nothing left to say. It had been done

But there so much left that he didn't know, that he should have done, that he could've done.

He knew they never had a choice.

He didn't hate her. No it was quite the opposite.

But he had resposibilites. She was a student for Christ's sake! But now...

"God Sara, I have so many unanswered whys." he watched her swallow, as she regained her composure, such a simple statement upsetting her so easily.

"There's only one why that matters now." She recognised his reference to their tangled past. But that's all it was. The past.

"Why did Warrick Brown leave that scene..." The resignation in her voice echoed in Gil's head.

This world has too much noise.

He had brought her here.

She had took him under.

And he wasn't about to let go.

* * *

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It seriously means a lot to hear your responses :)

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	3. The Sadness Will Never End

Yes, I know I have a strange taste in music... In reality it ranges from stuff like Moby to bands like Parkway Drive, to The Rolling Stones, to HIM

But it's all good :)

_**Song 3 - Bring Me The Horizon - The Sadness Will Never End**_

_**To listen: youtube .com/watch?v=-TNckXgfYhA**_

___(remove the space between "youtube" and ".com")_

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* * *

  
_

It had been a rough case.

It was still awkward between Grissom & herself.

The memories still cut fresh.

They'd walked this path for far too long

But still they carry on, the game continuing.

The pain never ceasing.

She wanted him

He wanted her.

Why couldn't they relent?

Every time she saw him, she started choking on her words.

It was like he was a noose around her neck, pulling tighter as soon as she decided to say something.

Something to make him remember.

Something to make him want her again.

How had it come to this?

The ship was sinking.

All because of his fucking morals.

So what if he was her boss.

Catherine could always do her evaluations.

They could be together.

She had always sworn not to give up on him

But him telling her to get a distraction...

She wouldn't let her scars tear them apart

She prayed he wouldn't give up on her

It wasn't too late for them

She could save him from himself

And he could save her from herself

Grissom wacthed her walk down the hallway past his office.

No-one else could tell, but he knwe she was upset.

He could see it in the way she held herself, the way she purposely walked through, instead of her usual carefree wander, full of smiles & greetings.

It was his fault.

He knew he was hurting her.

But he was old.

She needed someone young. Someone who could make her happy.

They'd been walking this same damn path for far too long.

He could see her face as her recalled telling her to get herself a distraction, or she'd burnout. He could she the question cross her face, never reaching her lips. "Is there hope for us?"

No Sara, you deserve so much more than I can give you

"Can we make it out alive?"

Only you can, but that's if I let you go now. You can make it, you're so strong, I'm just a lonely, old man.

He wanted to kiss her.

He wanted to throw her onto his desk and ravish her

To see if she still felt the same

He knew he still did

To hell with the consequences

But he was afraid

Afraid she could taste the failure on his lips

Afraid she would push him away

Afraid she no longer wanted him

There was nothing he can do

The damage was already done

He had to sleep in this bed that he made for himself

A bed without Sara

It seemed so empty

He seemed so empty

"You're trapped in the past"

It was the night that she got the DUI it was revealed to him

When she told him how she had tried to numb the pain with alcohol and pills

But it wouldn't repair her trust

She had been hurt too many times by him

But she couldn't let him go

She felt so pathetic

She couldn't stand on two fucking feet without a substance as a crutch

It was ridculous

She needed him

And he needed her

* * *

You know the drill...

**READ & REVIEW PLEASE :)**

**You have no idea how much it cheers me up when I get an email saying "so-an-so like your story :)"**

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	4. HeartShaped Glasses

Sorry, I know they're getting shorter & shorter, but I deal best with the angst ordeal...  
As soon as they're together I have to monitor what I write or it may end up a) Mills & Boon style shit or b) a major argument....

Meh... suggestions are welcome

_**Song 4 - Marilyn Manson - Heart-Shaped Glasses (When The Heart Guides The Hand)**_

_**To listen: youtube .com/watch?v=2mPm7JTB5AA**_

_____(remove the space between "youtube" and ".com")_

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* * *

  
_

It was the night of the DUI

He couldn't help himself

She was so insecure, as tears poured down her face, she wouldn't stop saying sorry

Sorry for getting drunk, sorry for getting you involved, sorry for being such a problem, sorry I love you, sorry I can't take being alone, sorry I can't keep it together any longer.

Grissom didn't know what to do.

He knew what his heart wanted to do.

He knew what his body wanted to do.

He knew what every fibre of his being wanted him to do.

He just wasn't sure what to do.

Everything but his brain said hold her

Love her

Care for her

Show her

Show her she could never be a problem, show her he loved her, show her she wasn't alone, show her together they could keep it together, together.

His mind told him to remain professional

She could lose her career over him  
She had so much to lose over an old man

He could never give her all she needed.

She reminded him of the times in San Fransisco

When she was dressed in white, and they would drink coffee and put the world to rights.

He couldn't take his eyes off her then, and he couldn't now.

What was he doing?

Sara woke the next morning, her head pounding.

She could vaguely remember last night, getting changed into one of her silky nightgown things

But she couldn't remember why Grissom was laid next to her

It didn't matter

She felt warm & safe

She felt happy again

She didn't mind him keeping her on pins & needles so much

She just minded when he crushed her into them

She felt him wake, and open his eyes, the blue getting her high

He couldn't help himself

He knew he shouldn't, but for once he let go of the obsessive self-control

He kissed her

She kissed him back

His kissed her harder, his tongue demanding entrance to her mouth

She battled him every step.

Her tongue fought his ferociously, as her hand started pulling at his shirt, seeking his warm skin

He ripped at her nightclothes so hard it tore in two

She'd never cover up what they did with that dress

They were like animals, seeking each others flesh

His mouth around her nipple

A primal groan from deep within her chest as his callused finger brought her to the edge

His moans as she ran her hand up and down his shaft

Her other hand running through the coarse hair on his chest

Her heart was simultaneously breaking and being repaired

She had wanted this for so long

She hoped this meant as much to him as it did to her

And even if it didn't, she hoped he would never take off his heart shaped glasses

Because she couldn't lose him now.

Grissom took great pleasure from pleasing Sara

She reminds me of the one I knew in San Fransisco

He couldn't take his hands off her

It was out of his control

Not that he was complaining about it.

He was enjoying every minute of it

But she was getting impatient

It was cruel of him to have brought her to the edge twice

And then left her hanging

He wanted her to come

But he wanted them to come together

Looking deep into her hazel eyes, he slid himself deep inside of her

Pregnancy wasn't an issue

He must be too old now

And they both knew the other was clean

They got tested 3 times a year

It was one of the rules of being a CSI

Not sure why, but it was

They moaned in unison as he sunk in to the hilt

He felt her tighten her muscles around him

God this wasn't going to last long

But he was bloody well going to make it her best time ever

She wouldn't let him be anywhere but inside

He was happy with that

He had hurt he so many times before

Yet she still stuck to him

She said kiss me, it'll heal

But it won't forget

He couldn't ask for much more than that

* * *

C'mon people...say it with me

**READ & REVIEW PLEASE... **

It will make Ishmael VERY happy

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	5. Where We Belong

You have no idea how difficult this one was to write

I'm quite sad I had to end it here to be honest, I really enjoyed this challenge

If you have any other challenge suggestion, whack them in the review box & I'll give them a go

Send me some ridiculous prompts & I'll see where I can take it

_**Song 5 - Lostprophets - Where We Belong**_

_**To listen: youtube .com/watch?v=b6CleYqU2_o**_

_____(remove the space between "youtube" and ".com")_

_

* * *

  
_

He held her close as she sobbed into his shoulder

It had been the third time this week she had awoke terrified

The first time she'd dreamt he was dead... it was the Paul Mellander case that had done it

The second time she was watching him die

This time it was the thunder that had woken her.

The crack in the night sky sounded like gunfire.

"Shhh... it's okay..." Grissom ran his fingers through her lemon scented hair

"I'll take these storms away honey, we can start a brand new story, yeah?"

She sniffled, ashamed at being so easily scared.

"Was it Mellander again?" Grissom softly probed. He knew the cases had got to her.

She nodded into his chest

"You know he's dead honey... Don't worry I'll make it through each day. Especially seeing as I've got you to come home to."  
Sara smiled, wiping away her tears

"And though it seems we're living under permanently grey clouds, we'll be okay, with the rain or thunder. Because this is where we belong. Right here, in our house, in our room, in our bed, in each other's arms."  
Sara looked up into Grissoms sea blue eyes.

"For so long I kept searching for something to put my faith in... but I don't need anything. I've got you. You know I love you right Griss?"

"And I love you Sara... just don't let Mellander get to you. I won't let him get you down, okay?"

He needed to show her he was still here.

She was always so strong, that even when she was afraid she still managed to amaze him.

He kissed her

He didn't need any vision

Any lights to embrace

He had the one thing in life he could ever want

He had Sara Sidle

And no-one could take her away from him

He knew her.

H didn't give false promises, hopes and wishes

He had everything he needed

He was going to hold on to her

Where he belonged

Her heart

His soul

* * *

Hope you guys have enjoyed this as much as me

Song Fics kick ass.... I'm halfway through writing a really long one about Manson & +44 lyrics about GSR...  
The music is going to be Greg's influence on Sara :)  
I'll publish it when I've finished sorting the next few chapters XD

But for now...

**READ & REVIEW!** Because it makes me impossibly happy :)

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